Funny Pictures (13) + Jokes (10) [5 pictures] [4 jokes]
There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.
The police chief asks, “What were the people doing on the bus?”
The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around, meaning the people were dancing and having fun.
The chief asks, “Yeah, but what else were they doing?”.
The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.
The chief says, “Oh! They were drinking, huh??!”
The chief continues, “Okay, were they doing anything else?”
The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.
The chief loses his patience, “If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?”
The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.
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A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. No, it’s not the usual caps-lock problem.
“The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says.
“Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk technician explains, “so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password.”
“Yeah,” she says, “but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”
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A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica.
She meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him,
“What is your name?”
“I can’t tell you” , the black man says.
Every night, they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always respond the same, he can’t tell her.
On her last night, she asks again what his name is and he responds the same, I can’t tell you my name because you will laugh at me, says the black man.
There is no reason for me to laugh at you.
Fine, my name is Snow!, the black man replies.
The lady bursts into laughter and the black man gets mad and says,
“I knew you’d make fun of it.”
The lady replied, “I’m not making fun of you. I’m thinking of my husband who won’t believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow every day in Jamaica!”
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A boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had not phoned in sick. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper.
“Hello.”
“Is your daddy home?” he asked.
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
” May I talk with him?”
The child whispered, “No.”
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”
“Yes.”
“May I talk with her?”
Again the small voice whispered, “No.”
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked,
“Is anybody else there?”
“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman”.
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked,
“May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?”
“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A helicopter” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the helicopter.”
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:
“ME.”
Labels: funniest jokes, funniest pictures, funniest stuff
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