Monday, April 30, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Videos (40) [5 videos]

Domino PCs: The Real Thing: 86 PCs in a row!
The best thing to come from the Dot Com crash... Domino PCs! 86 PCs lined up like dominos. Filmed on a saturday afternnon in Belmont, California, by an Irish bloke and a Spanish guy. The final attempt.... Everything goes well but the heavy machines near the end almost put a halt to the whole thing... thankfully there was enough weight behind the toppled machines to slowly topple the heavy ones!

Most of these PCs were then Given to charity or recycled as part of an overall hardware deal.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the funniest stuff video


Gates vs. Jobs
Bill Gates and Steve Jobs square off in the clean white virtual world of the iconic Mac ads.

SUPERNEWS NOMINATED FOR WEBBY AWARDS!!
SuperNews was nominated in two categories for the 2006 Webbys.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the funniest stuff video


The Best Way to Quit Your Job EVER!!!!
"This is how I quit my job at a car factory"

CLICK HERE if you can't see the funniest stuff video


Modern boat's drive
Yes, it's Russia :)

CLICK HERE if you can't see the funniest stuff video


Spiders On Drugs
In 1960, Dr. Peter Witt gave various drugs to spiders and observed their effects on web bulding. This film about the experiment was created by First Church of Christ, Filmmaker.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the funniest stuff video

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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Pictures (13) + Jokes (10) [5 pictures] [4 jokes]

There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.

The police chief asks, “What were the people doing on the bus?”

The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around, meaning the people were dancing and having fun.

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The chief asks, “Yeah, but what else were they doing?”.

The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.

The chief says, “Oh! They were drinking, huh??!”

The chief continues, “Okay, were they doing anything else?”

The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.

The chief loses his patience, “If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?

The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.

***************************

A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. No, it’s not the usual caps-lock problem.

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“The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says.

“Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk technician explains, “so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password.”

“Yeah,” she says, “but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”


***************************


A lady goes on vacation to Jamaica.

She meets a black man, and after a night of passionate love making she asks him,

“What is your name?”

“I can’t tell you” , the black man says.

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Every night, they meet and every night she asks him again what his name is and he always respond the same, he can’t tell her.

On her last night, she asks again what his name is and he responds the same, I can’t tell you my name because you will laugh at me, says the black man.

There is no reason for me to laugh at you.

Fine, my name is Snow!, the black man replies.

The lady bursts into laughter and the black man gets mad and says,

“I knew you’d make fun of it.”

The lady replied, “I’m not making fun of you. I’m thinking of my husband who won’t believe me when I tell him that I had 10 inches of Snow every day in Jamaica!”


***************************


A boss wondered why one of his most valued employee had not phoned in sick. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper.

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“Hello.”

“Is your daddy home?” he asked.

“Yes,” whispered the small voice.

” May I talk with him?”

The child whispered, “No.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”

“Yes.”

“May I talk with her?”

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Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked,

“Is anybody else there?”

“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman”.

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked,

“May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A helicopter” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the helicopter.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:

“ME.”



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Saturday, April 28, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Videos (39) [3 videos]

Xbox 360 Egg Frying
3 red lights of death on an xbox 360 only mean one thing...time to fry an egg!!

CLICK HERE if you cant see the video


Ah Man!!!
this is a keystone light ad.. but its the funniest ive ever seen!! :D

CLICK HERE if you cant see the video


Funny Sport Bloopers
Hilarious!!!

CLICK HERE if you cant see the video

Funny Sport Bloopers - Watch the best video clips here

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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Mr TytkaEntertainment [3 pictures]

If it takes a long time not to be removed in the room
This is what is when much you drink much, smoke and it's no way to be removed


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Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Videos (38) [2 videos]

Muslim woman and spaghetti
Muslim woman and spaghetti!

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Excellent Dice Performance~ Cool!
Awesome!

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Videos (37) [3 videos]

Counter Strike Gun Sounds
from counter strike 1.6

CLICK HERE if you cant see the video


Parodie LOTR
Sarah Michelle Gellar & Jack Black

CLICK HERE if you cant see the video


It's raining 300 men
These guys are all business...

CLICK HERE if you cant see the video

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Saturday, April 21, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Pictures (12) + Jokes (9) [9 pictures] [3 jokes]

Bubba died in a fire and was burnt pretty bad & the morgue needed someone to identify the body. So his two best friends, Daryl & Gomer were sent for.

Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said,

“Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.”

So the mortician rolled him over and Daryl looked and said,

“Nope, ain’t Bubba.”

The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said,

“Yup, he’s burnt real bad, roll him over.”

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer looked down and said,

“No, it ain’t Bubba.

The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”

Gomer said, “Well, Bubba had two assholes.”

What? He had two assholes?” said the mortician.

“Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes.

Every time we went to town, folks would say,

“Here comes Bubba with them two assholes”.


****************************

A little kid walks into a taxi and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling,

‘’If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I’d be a little bull.'’

The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with,

‘’If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant, I’d be a little elephant.'’

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid,

‘’What if your dad was a drunkard and your mom was a prostitute?!'’

The kid smiles and says, ‘’I'd be a bus driver!'’

****************************

A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store.

After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine and pushes another button suddenly, a coke comes out the machine!

She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient.

Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?”

The blonde turns around and says, “Yeah right! I’m not giving up this machine while I’m still winning!.”


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Friday, April 20, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Videos (36) [3 videos]

Swedish Tank Drifting
This is me and my crewmembers having ... This is me and my crewmembers having some fun after a hard day's work. I am the driver. Update: The tank itself is the swedish, modified version, of the german Leopard 2A5 tank renamed to 'Stridsvagn 122'. Have fun watching it... I had fun doing it.
From 122025

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Saddam & Osama the Animated Series
A funny skit I saw on TV.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Simon Amman's fall
...

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Videos (35) [4 videos]

Frogs ;)
Two funny frogs catching flies...

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Air Action Chipmunk
Hilarious cartoon.. just brilliant!!

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


url a usb
...

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Disco Elevator
Video of the french guy Remi Gaillard: disco Elevator.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny pictures (11) + Jokes (8) [4 pictures] [5 jokes]

Three friends, Aboriginal, Jew and Mexican, spend each night together drinking beer in an outback pub.

One night as they’re leaving, a road-train comes through the town and kills all three.

The next day, the publican is surprised to see the Mexican, who assumed dead walked through the door. The Mexican tells him, “Well, we were all killed, but when we got to the pearly gates, St. Peter said we could come back to earth if we pay him $20.”

“Well, obviously you paid up, but what happened to your friends?”

“The jew’s trying to haggle him down to $10, and the aboriginal is trying to convince him that the government will pay for it.”

*********************************

One night, 3 mba students were boozing till late night and didn’t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning, they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt. They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.So the dean said they can have the retest after 3 days.

They said they will be ready by that time. On the third day, they appeared before the dean.The dean said that this was a special condition test.

All three were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days.

The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks.

Q.1. YOUR NAME …………………….(2 MARKS)

Q.2. WHICH TYRE BURST ……………(98 MARKS).
a. Front Left
b. Front Right
c. Back Left
d. Back Right ….!!!

*********************************

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses’ wife instead,

“I’m afraid he died last week” ,she explains.

The next day, the man calls again and asks for the boss.

“I told you” the wife replies, “he died last week.”

The next day, he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss.

By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts, “I’ve already told you twice, my husband, your boss, died last week! Why do you keep calling?”

“Coz…” he replied laughing, “I just love hearing it…”

*********************************

I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying, “Hi, how are you?”

I’m not the type to start a conversation in the men’s restroom but I don’t know what got into me, so I answered, some what embarrassed, “Doin’ just fine!”

And the other guy says: “So what are you up to?”

What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking this is too bizarre so I say, “Uhhh, I’m like you, just traveling!”

At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can when I hear another question. “Can I come over?”

Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell him, “No……..I’m a little busy right now!!!”

Then I hear the guy say nervously…

“Listen, I’ll have to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!”

*********************************

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.

First, he asked that the air conditioner be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.

“Oh, I really don’t care or mind,” said the waiter with a smile.

“We don’t even have an air conditioner.”

*********************************

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Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Videos (34) [3 videos]

Cool Salt
Watch as salt is transformed into awesome patterns by altering the sound waves. Be careful though, it might get very high pitched.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Pet star super dog akıllı kopek
...

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Talking Parrot
...

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

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Monday, April 16, 2007

Mr TytkaFireman is a hard job! [1 video]

Fireman is a hard job!

...smoke...

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Friday, April 13, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny Videos (33) [3 videos]

David Blaine Street Magic: YouTube Edition!
David Blaine brings his famous street magic to YouTube. Watch as the famous magician blows the minds of two Los Angeles idiots. WARNING: This magic is amazing.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Auto Insurance
Luke's real life auto insurance quote came back at 303 dollars a month. Luke got pissed... and put his new webcam to use.
Like all of our stuff, we scripted this out beforehand.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Goal
...

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Mr TytkaLittle Rap Wonder [1 video]

Little Rap Wonder
Little Rap Wonder, he is 5 years old!

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video
...

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Mr TytkaFunny pictures (10) + Jokes (7) [9 pictures] [3 jokes]

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

Kathy said, “My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess.”

“And what’s the moral of the story?” asked the teacher.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!!!

Very good,” said the teacher.

Oh, there was little Johnny with his hand up.

“Johnny, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am, my daddy told me this story about my Aunt Karen. She was a flight engineer in desert storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a machete.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops.

She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets, then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke and then she killed the last ten with her bare hands.”

God heavens,” said the horrified teacher, “what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?”

Don’t mess with Aunt Karen when she’s been drinking.”

***********************************

A fellow tries to cross the Mexican border on a bicycle with two big bags balanced on his shoulders.

The border guard asks, “What’s in the bags?

The fellow says, “Sand!

The guard wants to examine them. The fellow gets off the bike, places the bags on the ground, opens them up, and the guard inspects…only to find sand. The fellow packs the sand into the
bags, places them on his shoulders, and pedals the bike across the border.

Two weeks later, the same situation is repeated…

What have you there?”

Sand

“We want to examine it.”

Same results…nothing but sand and the fellow is on his way again.

Every two weeks for a year the inspections continue.

Eventually, the border guard retires and one day he happens to see the guy downtown.

He says to the fellow, “Buddy, you drove me crazy. I know you were smuggling something. For 30 years I was a border guard and I thought I’d seen everything, but I was never been able to figure out what you were up to. I won’t say anything, but what were you smuggling?”

The fellow says, “Bicycles”.

***********************************

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were:

The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,

T-square, do your stuff.”

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

Spreadsheet, do your stuff.”

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies …Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said “Measure, do your stuff.”

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk,, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said,
“What can your cat do?”

The Government Employee called his cat and said…

Coffee Break…do your stuff.”

Coffee Break jumped to his feet…

ate the cookies…

drank the milk…

sh*t on the paper…

claimed he injured his back while doing so…

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions

put in for Workers Compensation…and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave!!!


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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Mr TytkaVW Unpimp [4 videos]

VW Unpimp - sucking
Volkswagen Golf GTi commercial

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Volkswagen: Un-pimp Your Ride I
Volkswagen: Un-pimp Your Ride commercial

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Volkswagen: Un-pimp Your Ride II
Volkswagen: Un-pimp Your Ride commercial

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Volkswagen: Un-pimp Your Ride III
Volkswagen: Un-pimp Your Ride commercial

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

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Mr TytkaDeath Date ...When You Will Die? [1 tool]

So... you want to know when?

This mysterious tool will give you the answer to the most important question of your life - when will your time come.


Don't wait any longer, go to the Death Form, enter your (or someone else's) details and click calculate. The site will process your data and calculate the Death Date.

Remember...you're using this site at your own risk!

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Monday, April 9, 2007

Mr TytkaHow To Be Always Smiling? Simple Guide! [1 video] [3 pictures]

How To Be Always Smiling? Simple Guide!
It's simple, cheap and useful, so just do it!. And the world will be better place.
Of course the construction is joke, just for fun :)


Video Guide
CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

How To Be Always Smiling? Simple Guide! - The best video clips are here


Standard Guide

You have depression? Stress?

Take 2 clips and elastic elastics.

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You will connect them as shown in picture.

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You will use construction as shown in figure.

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Delight in by your day!

These required office means will help you to complete day with the smile on face!

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Mr TytkaYou Are Mighty

http://aaa.youaremighty.com
instead aaa in url put your name, for example:

http://tytka.visitor.youaremighty.com
...

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Saturday, April 7, 2007

Mr TytkaDaily Funny Videos (32) [4 videos]

Double Jointed
Yea...I'm steve and I can do some pretty crazy stuff with my body. I made this video alonggg time ago but I can still do it all. I wore a mask when i made it because I did'nt want people to see who i was because I'm not really proud of what I can do lol. But yea alot of people are like EW FREAK lol you can call me what you want, some people think it's the grossest thing, some think its the coolest thing. I dont mind what you think of it, we all have different views on things, I just hope you find some kind of entertainment out of it becuase that's what its up here for :D Thanks, hope you enjoy it.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video



Little Strongman

...


CLICK HERE
if you can't see the video


Asian girls scared by the movie The RING
Tv show bring asian girls in a room to watch the popular movie The ring, they get a surprise by the end of the movie.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Knut - The beauty of Nature
That's a simple homemade videoclip about my new friend: KNUT! It's a polar bear, born recently in the Berlin's Zoo. I love his tenderness.

(E' un semplice video fatto da me, che riguarda il mio nuovo amico: Knut! E' un orso polare nato di recente nello zoo di Berlino. Adoro la sua tenerezza.)

"Puoi conoscere il cuore di un uomo già dal modo in cui egli tratta le bestie." - I. Kant (more)

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

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Mr TytkaFunny pictures (9) + Jokes (6) [8 pictures] [3 jokes]

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a isolated area.

Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,”Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move.

Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Cocoa, pull!” Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, “Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”

****************************

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase and that the company is not doing any thing about it.

One morning, he decided to walk up to his HR Manager after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.

The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying:

My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager : How many days are there in a year?
Man : 365 days and some times 366.

Manager : How many hours make up a day?
Man : 24 hours

Manager : How long do you work in a day?
Man : 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager : So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man : He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third)

Manager : That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man : 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)

Manager : Do you come to work on weekends?
Man : No sir

Manager
: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man : 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager : Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man : 18 days.

Manager : OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year.
Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man : 4 days

Manager : Do you work on New Year day?
Man : No sir!

Manager : Do you come to work on workers day?
Man : No sir!

Manager : So how many days are left?
Man : 2 days sir!

Manager : Do you come to work on the (National holiday)?
Man : No sir!

Manager : So how many days are left?
Man : 1 day sir!

Manager : Do you work on Christmas day?
Man : No sir!

Manager : So how many days are left?
Man : None sir!

Manager : So, what are you claiming for?
Man : I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing Company money all these days.


****************************

A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she requested him to shave his beard, “Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to
see your handsome face.”

James replied, “My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!!!”.

“Oh please!!!” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice…

“Really, I can’t,” he replied. “My wife loves this beard!!!”

The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.

That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping.

The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”

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Mr TytkaScare Tactics [3 videos]

The Gay Monster
Some sort of demon monster really, really scares the crapola out of this dude named Bryant. This is an absolute must-see.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Vampire
Short clip from Scare Tactics where they play a vampire prank. The girls reaction is priceless.

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video


Scary Man Masked Murderer
The hidden camera show, Scare Tactics scare their next victim with the masked murderer with machette gag. Lol Very hilarious reactions

CLICK HERE if you can't see the video

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Friday, April 6, 2007

Mr TytkaPrison Break Flash [2 flashes]

Prison Break Flash
Just for fun :)


Episode 1 - Flyaway
CLICK HERE if you can't see the animation


Episode 2 - Robot
CLICK HERE if you can't see the animation

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Thursday, April 5, 2007

Mr TytkaFunny pictures (8) + Jokes (5) [4 pictures] [3 jokes]

At school little krish was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying,”I know the whole truth.”

Little krish decided to go home and try it out. He went home, and as he was greeted by his mother

He said, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly handed him $20 and said, “just don’t tell your father.”

Quite pleased, the boy waited for his father to get home from work, and greeted him with,”I know the whole truth.” krish’s father promptly handed him $50 and said, “please don’t say a word to your mother!”

Very pleased, the boy was on his way to school the next day when he saw the mailman at his front door. Little krish greeted him by saying, “I know the whole truth.”

The mailman immediately dropped the mail, opened his arms saying, “then come give your daddy a big hug.”

****************************

Tom was shocked, confused, bewildered as he entered Heaven’s door, Not by the beauty of it all, by the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven who made Tom sputter and gasp— the thieves, the liars, the sinners, the alcoholics, the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped his lunch money twice. Next to him was another old neighbor who never said anything nice.

Herb, who Tom always thought was rotting away in hell, was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well.

Tom nudged the angel, “What’s the deal? He would love to hear your take. How’d all these sinners get up here? God must’ve made a mistake.

And whys everyone so quiet, so somber? Give me a clue.”

“Hush, child,” said Tom. “They’re all in shock. No one thought they’d see you.”

****************************

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a isolated area.

Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,”Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move.

Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Cocoa, pull!” Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, “Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”

****************************

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