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Mr TytkaFunny pictures (9) + Jokes (6) [8 pictures] [3 jokes]

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a isolated area.

Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,”Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move.

Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy didn’t respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Cocoa, pull!” Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, “Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try!”

****************************

After 2 years of selfless service, a man realized that he has not been promoted, no transfer, no salary increase and that the company is not doing any thing about it.

One morning, he decided to walk up to his HR Manager after exchanging greetings, he told his HR Manager his observation.

The boss looked at him, laughed and asked him to sit down saying:

My friend, you have not worked here for even one day.The man was surprised to hear this, but the manager went on to explain.

Manager : How many days are there in a year?
Man : 365 days and some times 366.

Manager : How many hours make up a day?
Man : 24 hours

Manager : How long do you work in a day?
Man : 8am to 4pm. i.e. 8 hours a day.

Manager : So, what fraction of the day do you work in hours?
Man : He did some arithmetic and said 8/24 hours i.e . 1/3(one third)

Manager : That is nice of you! What is one-third of 366 days?
Man : 122 (1/3×366 = 122 in days)

Manager : Do you come to work on weekends?
Man : No sir

Manager
: How many days are there in a year that are weekends?

Man : 52 Saturdays and 52 Sundays equals to 104 days

Manager : Thanks for that. If you remove 104 days from 122 days, how many days do you now have?
Man : 18 days.

Manager : OK! I do give you 2 weeks sick leave every year.
Now remove that 14 days from the 18 days left. How many days do you have remaining?
Man : 4 days

Manager : Do you work on New Year day?
Man : No sir!

Manager : Do you come to work on workers day?
Man : No sir!

Manager : So how many days are left?
Man : 2 days sir!

Manager : Do you come to work on the (National holiday)?
Man : No sir!

Manager : So how many days are left?
Man : 1 day sir!

Manager : Do you work on Christmas day?
Man : No sir!

Manager : So how many days are left?
Man : None sir!

Manager : So, what are you claiming for?
Man : I have understood, Sir. I did not realize that I was stealing Company money all these days.


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A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she requested him to shave his beard, “Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to
see your handsome face.”

James replied, “My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!!!”.

“Oh please!!!” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice…

“Really, I can’t,” he replied. “My wife loves this beard!!!”

The girlfriend asked once more, he sighed and finally gave in.

That night James crawled into bed next to his wife while she was sleeping.

The wife was awakened, turned toward him, felt his face and said, “Oh Michael, you shouldn’t be here. My husband will be home soon!”

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